Monday, March 24, 2008

23 Years

DSCN4669a
A wedding anniversary cake with sugar fondant roses that I made for my MIL some time ago.
We were among the first few couples to have a morning wedding reception at the newly opened Tanjung Aru Beach and Hotel Resort 23 years ago. I wore a tulle gown from England (my second one, the first being a disastrous gown made in Singapore which I gave away), my gorgeous bridesmaid wore a simple, elegant pink number from Australia, the two little flower girls, daughters of my mom's friend, wore something I had designed. My make-up was done by none other than Jo of A Feast, Everyday because I hated the parrot colors professional beauticians slapped on brides in those days and I trusted Jo to do it right (and she did, perfectly). The groom, would you believe it, wore his brother's too-small suit. Until today it upsets me.

What can I say? It's been a long time, yet it hasn't been. I still love his voice, but hate his sloppiness. Love that we both enjoy almost the same things: eating, travelling, checking out supermarkets, bookstores and new houses, love animals, root for the same politicians (Obama), enjoy discussing topics from God to science to history to disagreeing on Tibet (he's against their independence, I'm for). In terms of personality, he's a steady-compliant on the DISC test and I'm influence-dominant, so we seem very different. One of the things I admire about him is his steadiness and self-control. After winning a bag of coins at a casino in the US, he was able to walk away. I had lost all my money. When we got to the airport, I grabbed his bag of winnings and blew them all away at the airport one-arm machines. Yes, they even have them at the airport for people like me. I think if I had married someone like me, we'd be living on the streets. On the other hand, I find him annoyingly too steady. I'd say, "Let's fly to Penang for laksa this weekend!" and he'd say "Just like that? No..." He used to drive to Tamparuli, Tuaran, and all those faraway places when we were courting, just so he could have more time with me, he said (KK was very small; there were no places to go to for courting couples). That really made me felt so loved. Now I suggest "Let's drive to Tamparuli!!" and he'd say "What?? It's so far away. There's nothing there." (There's me in the car with you, dude!) Girls, guys are nicest before they get you.

We've had our bad times. Most women I've spoken to have run away from their hubs at least once in their marriage! If you had watched Kramer vs Kramer, you'd know what I mean. When Meryl Streep's character stood at the elevator with her suitcase as she prepared to leave her husband and son, Dustin Hoffman's character was totally stunned. He had no idea she was unhappy. And therein lies the most fundamental truth of all marriages: men and women are wired totally differently. Men are happy as long as they get their meals and their bed exercise. Women are deeper. They need love, care and friendship and the occasional sprinkle of Stuart Weitzman, Prada, Bulgari plus obedient kids and stay-away in-laws.

We'd had our good times when we feel we are the luckiest people in the world, and we wonder sometimes at how wonderful our life has been together. I honestly think that things got better after he became a Christian, 13 years ago when Wey was born. Now when we have a fight, I'm more aware that it isn't just the two of us, but there's God in our marriage and God is a God of love and we must be God-fearing enough to humble ourselves and work things out. I've always told my kids this: choose a partner who is reasonable, responsible, loves his/her parents/siblings (not beyond the horizon as some of you know what I mean) and is not bad-tempered. And make sure he/she can stand up to possessive in-laws. Apart from that, be faithful to each other and love each other for better or for worse.
So on the occasion of our 23rd wedding anniversary, I thank God for putting me with you, and I love you, W.

*我聽見你的聲音wo ting jian ni de sheng yin
有種特別的感覺 you zhong te bie de gan jue
讓我不斷想不敢再忘記你 rang wo bu duan xiang bu gan zai wang ji ni
我記得有一個人wo ji de you yi ge ren
永遠留在我心中 yong yuan liu zai wo xin zhong
哪怕只能夠這樣的想你 Na pa zhi neng gou zhe yang de xiang ni
如果真的有一天 ru guo zhen de you yi tian
愛情理想會實現 ai qing li xiang hui shi xian
我會加倍努力好好對你永遠不改變 wo hui jia bei nu li hao hao dui ni yong yuan bu gai bian
不管路有多麼遠 bu guan lu you duo ma yuan
一定會讓它實現yi ding hui rang ta shi xian
我會親親在你耳邊對你說(對你說) wo hui qin qin zai ni er bian dui ni shuo (dui ni shuo)
我愛你愛著你 wo ai ni ai zhe ni
就像老鼠愛大米 jiu xiang lao shu ai da mi
不管有多少風雨我都會依然陪著你 bu guan you duo shao feng yu wo dou hui yi ran pei zhe ni
我想你想著你 wo xiang ni xiang zhe ni
不管有多麼的苦 bu guan you duo ma de ku
只要能讓你開心我什麼都願意 zhi yao neng rang ni kai xin she ma dou yuan yi
這樣愛你 *zhe yang ai ni *
我愛你愛著你 wo ai ni ai zhe ni
就像老鼠愛大米 jiu xiang lao shu ai da mi
不管有多少風雨我都會依然陪著你 bu guan you duo shao feng yu wo dou hui yi ran pei zhe ni
我想你想著你 wo xiang ni xiang zhe ni
不管有多麼的苦 bu guan you duo ma de ku
只要能讓你開心我什麼都願意 zhi yao neng rang ni kai xin she ma dou yuan yi
這樣愛你zhe yang ai ni

22 comments:

Denise ^ ChiCkyEGG said...

Men only have 2 emotions, hungry and horny. When he's not horny, make him a sandwich

*Awww... u're so Sweet*
Happy Anniversary !! did he buy U roses?

p/s no wonder ur "fatt choi" plant got flower la... charms are ahead u.

CK-II said...

Congratulations to you, Terri! I am so happy to hear that you are happily married for 23 years now.

After 5 years of searching and trying and failing, I know that it is close to impossible to find a soul mate! It happens only by chance, not by choice.

I keep on going places just trying to fill my empty soul, but the more journeys I embarked on, the more profound the emptiness becomes. Deep in my soul there's a will to settle down, but the situation does not permit that. So, I have to keep on going places and live with it.

I always admire people with family and blessed with children. I know that's how life should be. Again, congratulations!

b said...

Congratulations W and T on your 23rd wedding anniversary! wow!

such a touching post Terri. moved to tears...sob..sob :)

ekeng said...

Ma...Happy Anniversary !!! Wah...Kai Yer is a pro gambler ar..hehe :)

W said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Terri @ A Daily Obsession said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your 23 anniversary!!!! Terri n W. May our Lord continue to bless you two in your walk together. I love the song,so touching....hehe. (Ai Ming)

Anonymous said...

As I was reading your post, so many wonderful memories flashed back from the first day I met you at the meeting of Canadian graduates in the Sports Club in KK town padang. I was attracted to your unpretentious way of talking to people, your beauty, your innocent and uncorrupted views on social and political issues, your intellect, your concern and desire to help the needy and orphans, your honesty, your smile with two attractive dimples, your legs, your gorgeous hair on your shoulder, your accent, your appetite and our shared interest of loving good food...

In the last twenty years, I've found that you are more than my first impression of you. I've seen your love and kindness towards your parents and siblings and their families, my parents and my brothers, friends and even strangers. You have been the best soul mate and mother of my three lovely children.

If I were to live over again, I would still choose to marry you, Dai Lek.

Love, W

Daisy Davis said...

Happy Anniversary! wanna see wedding pix post!!

Shan said...

Congrats Terri to you and W. Yes please scan some old photos for us :)

Greg Wee said...

Hi Terri. Happy Anniversary! You are truly blessed.

CK: Japan is a land of plenty... girls, that is. Don't come home without one when you're there.

Anonymous said...

NEE: i know exactly wat you mean by they are so nice before they get you.

I have a sensitive nose which gets itchy real bad if there is dust. when greg first date me, he will vacuum his car before he picked me.

Now...hai...i will sneeze my nose off and all he would do is say.."please blow your nose". What to do...

Precious Pea said...

You are a very very lucky woman. Congratulations to you and your man for the wonderful 23 years...and wishing you many many more wonderful, i mean, even better years to come. :)
How come no wedding pic? Wanna see your gown. :)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations T & W. Your post had me nodding my head many times. W's post had me all teary-eyed. May your love for each other continue to grow. God bless you both.

Raina

mike c said...

great response, wedge. though i don’t think terri would let u out of d dog house for wearing the 2-small-suit. wow, 23 years!....i can see how you guys could keep it going forever… terri, ur a born natural communicator & being candid just rounded it out perfectly. thanks for sharing & happy anniversary.

triShie said...

wow...so many ppl came and caongratulated you..i hope my CONGRATS to you will not just be another one. lol!!

may God continue to bless your marriage...

Anonymous said...

is this ur 3rd-amendment to this blog? from new post to -add in video - to add in lyrics -

eh, can u post ur wedding pic? and show off ur gown? ;p or any pic with ur beautiful toned leg? ;p
hey reading ur blog + W 's msg, make me feel like I'm in love !

much much love,
denise

WoMbOk™♂ said...

23 years is certainly something to celebrate. I wish you both many many more happy years ahead :)

Very sweet post. Am inspired already. keke.

bento pet said...

Terri, Congrats and God blessings for many more good years!!

Hong Yi said...

congratulations to my dearest mom and pops. u made me tear, esp when i listened to that super cheesy song. love you both very dearly and i'm so glad God chose me to be your little monkey :D



how come i didn't get ur nice slim legs? whose fault in the fam is it?! >:(

Mandy said...

happy anniversary Terri & W! Thanks for sharing this in your blog. I enjoy reading the story besides the yummy food you whipped up.

Terri @ A Daily Obsession said...

denise:i didn't know u know tt too lol!

ck: hmm. if u don't try u'll never know...but then again i understand. there's no point marrying just for marrying.

b: tq, dear

ekeng: kei yeh said he didn't know u existed :) oh yes, he is a pretty 'seng mook' guy!

ai meng: tq, i heard the song at a lintas supermarket n it was both touching and silly, so i like it!

"dai tow" (w): is this why u were in the comp room for sooo long??

my legs r 3x thicker (and i swear 3" shorter too), hair's thinning and greying, dimples (u asked the other day) aren't prominent anymore, accent gone a long time ago. let's see... i can cook better now, ur eyes r failing so u won't see my deterioration (and i urs), n we still have each other.

but do i have to tell u i'd marry u again here bc i might have to think on tt one.

daisy: tq, but tell u what, u show urs first,then i'll show mine!

shan: .....

nee: one day i'll do a post on married woman n their top peeves. i'm sure i'll have the most complaints, proportional to the # of yrs married!

preciousP: u'll laugh i know u will, if u see it.

raina: :) tq dear!

mike: tq. i can see u n kamlie r very happy too!

trishie: no, i appreciate ur warm wishes, tq!

wombok: if only 1 person is inspired, i'm happy already. tq :)

bentopet: tq dear :)

yi: did i tell u about the gas delivery man??!

mandy: tq, i love reading ur blog too :), n ur pics.

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