Meeting the frustrated discipline master (solution: act more upset than him). Skipping tuition to play at the cybercafe (I tell the cyber people I'm calling the police and walk out before child disowns me). Calls from the tennis coach (tip: as per discipline master). Juice cartons in bed (stop buying). Empty plates, in the fridge (throw a fit!). Missing things (ground everybody, including Hubby!). Dirty clothes, outside the laundry basket (let them rot). Red marks on report cards (threaten boarding school. May backfire. "Really, mom? When do I go?!"). Compliments on my cooking (all's forgiven).
My favorite shampoo and shower gels gone (switch the bottles; they'll end up with mine which is really meant for them). Never coming home on time (let him sleep in the car. Works). Gruff "Good Morning" and reluctant "Hi mom."(make him repeat it. In a nice tone too). Using my handphone without permission (haven't found a solution yet). Not coming to dinner because The Simpsons is on (no dinner for him and throw all leftovers). Dirty feet on my beige sofa (switch TV off). 3 seconds shower, 1 nanosecond toothbrushing (let their friends tell them). Not flushing (let them breathe their own mess). Kiss on the cheek, holds my hand in public (love you too!).
There must be more to motherhood than the same reason everybody gives me: God is moulding you through them! Grrr!!