Now Everyone Can Starve

Dear Tony,

First of all, I want to thank you for starting a new route to Ozzieland, giving people like me the chance to travel on budget long distance. Although the flight last Thursday from Coolangata, Gold Coast was delayed 40 minutes (and our connecting flight from KL to KK by 2 hours, I was very happy and impressed with AirAsia's Airbus A330 (something like that) which is brand new with leg room that seemed wider than that in the regular airlines. That is great because I nearly died from DVT on the 8-hour TigerAir flight to Melbourne.

AA's flight attendants were also very professional, grinning unceasingly like all flight attendants. I love the girls' uniforms. So red and tight. And their makeup, complete with fake inch-long peepers. Or were they wearing identical AA masks? And the way they tickle and play with noisy babies. Way to go Tony! Okay, before you loose interest, I must get to my point. I see in your inflight magazine, Travel 3Sixty (very witty - as in 'round the world'?) that AA get loads of letters from grateful travellers. You know, I would've been one of them too if not for your inflight food. As you know, your people have come up with this wonderful idea of online meal booking at less than half the price for onflight orders. My hub ordered your 'Pak Nasser's Malaysian Nasi Lemak' (touted as one of your best meals, raved by all who tried it) and 'The Great Aussie Pie' for RM10 each. From the picture, the meals look like they have been prepared by Michelin Stars chefs.

So imagine my shock when I tore the plastic seal off my nasi lemak container (too bad I didn't have my camera with me) and saw a plate of rice with a poached egg and two gravies - one red (the sambal) and another the color and look of what people leave in their toilet bowls (the curry?). The curry (with 2 to 3 peanut-sized bits of chicken. I guess it was chicken.) especially was disgusting in looks and taste. When I met up with my hub (who sat in the 'business class' section, because our last-minute booking of my son's ticket meant we had to pay more than regular airlines' fare) the first thing he said was "I have NEVER eaten anything worst in my life! The pie pastry was soggy wet and the whole thing tasted @#%*!" I looked at him and said my meal tasted like last week's @&%# (I imagine) and that shut him up cos he booked the meals in the first place.

So Tony, please try the meals yourself before advertising them like they are one of the world's best culinary creations. I really pity the poor gweilo in front of me who paid for his RM25 nasi lemak. I consider nasi lemak our national dish so it really upsets me when people mess it up. And while I'm still complaining, have you heard the case of this little boy who had his little, you know, 'thingy' scalded accidentally by hot coffee by an MAS air hostess? You should look into removing those Maggi cup noodles (I know AA makes lots of $ because kids love cup noodles, esp. onflight) before somebody else gets disfigured. In the case I mentioned, MAS had to pay compensation. Besides, not everyone like the smell of assam laksa when the flight is going through turbulence, you know.

Righto. I still think you are doing a good job. Heck, if I was 20 years younger I would seriously consider wriggling around in those little tight red skirts and join your team. At least I can say "Ladies and john-tlemen, we ah going to modelate tebulence.." and who cares if I hear a lady ask her son (named Wey) "Did you get what she said?" to which he replied "She's speaking in tongues."

Of course I'll still travel AA, Tony. Only next time I'm going to take a window seat (altho I always take aisle seats) and eat my own doggie-bagged nasi lemak.

Happy New Year!

Regards,
Terri

p.s. You know, I was thinking maybe with your excellent marketing skills, you can make disgusting meals a highlight on your flight. I bet there are some people now who can't wait to try your nasi lemak.

Note: This letter is just for laughs. I really think that for the price, flying to Ozland by AA is a very good deal. The service was very good, flight was smooth and most of all the plane was very new and comfortable. Foodwise, just starve for 8 hours but do bring some water.