"So, Tell Me, Why Do You Blog?!"

She crossed her arms and looked at me straight faced, and said like a discipline teacher to a bad student, "I look at your pictures (and this is where I was ready to be modest and say, no, my photos are not that good) and the effort you put in, and so (hand to head, like in frustration), tell me why do you blog and give away your recipes?!" And before I could even recover, she said, "Do you know how much danger you are exposing yourself to?!" Another friend piped in, "Yeah, and you reveal so many things!" And the conversation goes on about how young people are stupid to expose themselves online and blah blah blah. How about some nice words and encouragement, my friends?

I have been reading John Ortberg's Living The Life You've Always Wanted the last few days, and one sentence in Chapter 11 touched me, "Imagine if each time you saw another person your first thought was to pray for him or bless her." This is in special reference to people who offend you or, in Ortberg's words, " Imagine what it would be like if, any time you were challenged or anxious, your reflexive response would be to turn to God for strength." When N asked me in that tone, I tried to put what I read to work, and instead of shooting back with daggers and claws, as I would usually do, I mumbled something about having too much time with nothing better to do, that I enjoyed making friends with people of similar interest I've met online and that I've learnt many new recipes from others too. Later, at home, as I thought about it, I was upset at the way the person had put it, in that tone, like I am a looser to let everybody have my recipes for nothing and at the suggestion that I've been stupid by exposing myself to online dangers. This person informed us that her son is on Facebook, "but he makes sure his photos are not on it." I can safely say that if he does that, he has missed the point of joining Facebook, and he won't have many friends and acquaintences. It's like getting into a relationship and not giving your best shot because you are afraid of being hurt. The relationship won't go anywhere, so what's the point.

That doesn't mean I think it is wise to put up boudoir pictures of yourself on Facebook. I would be very upset if my children were careless on the net. I would still tell young people to be careful, very careful, with what they post, whether it is a photo of themselves half naked or a lamentation about their boss. Recently, I read an article about how prospective employers request information from headhunters regarding potential employees' online habits, personality and background as revealed in their blogs, Facebook and so on. So before you start dissing your boss in your blog, you better remember that that 3-second loss of insanity may cost you a future job, and that high from one romantic night as revealed on your blog may cost you a respectable spouse one day. Sometimes I do let my guard down, and start saying things that I shouldn't or post photos that I wouldn't have done so 2 years ago. Yes, it gets so comfy sometimes I forget my blog is open to the world. I was jolted when I went to a blog through another and read about how this guy found his 8-year old daughter's photo, which he had put up on his family blog, in a Japanese site that blogged about perverted sex. Although the pervert did not alter the photo, it was bad enough to have your child's photo put up in a paedophiles's blog. People can use your photos, remember that. That is why I have started to watermark my photos. Which also brings me to the issue of copyright.

Somebody emailed me that one of my articles was to be published in a magazine (not identified to me) in Feb and distributed to all the major bookstores like Borders and Times. I was pretty upset that the letter was more to inform me, and not to seek my permission. I refused, and they have replied that they won't publish it. If any of you notice my posts published anywhere but on my site, please tell me. I also think it is bad manners to copy in entirety anybody's posts and put it on other sites without asking, and not giving credit to the person who wrote it. I am told that many bloggers face this problem, especially in this country, and even mainstream newspapers are doing it. It is shameful, and nothing less than stealing other people's work especially if they are making money from it. Posts on websites are for all to read, but permission and credit must be given and the writer has the sole rights to his/her posts. This is especially so in the USA where copyright notices are not required for written work as long as you can prove it is yours, from what I've found out. I may be wrong on this, and would love some feed back if you know about this.

So, getting back to my point. Before I continue reading Ortberg, and a halo starts to hover over my head and hold me back from reacting, I want to reply this friend. Online, so I can say all I want. And that's the beauty of having a blog: I can express myself, my opinions and let out my grouses to nearly 1,000 readers per day and you can't stop me. This influence comes with readership growth although that was not what I was looking for when I first started blogging.

3 years ago, I couldn't restart the computer if Microsoft failed to start up properly. I couldn't attach a file to my email. My only knowledge of computer software was when I prepared spreadsheets. I knew nothing about blogging. I couldn't upload photos from my camera because I had my Hub and my son Ming to help me. I just needed to holler. Then one of my kids went through an emotional period, and I found out she had something called a blog. I began to check on her, and my days were dependent on if she was up or down. From there, I discovered the world of blogs, especially food blogs. Then one fateful night, I had a bad dinner at the just-opened Delifrance and I told my son Ming I wished I could tell people how bad the food was. He suggested that I start my own blog, since I've always loved to write, and with his help, the rest is history.

Now back to what my answer would've been if I didn't suppress myself. The overriding reason why I blog now is because I am a housewife with lots of time, and blogging has become a hobby. I am trying very hard not to blog at night. The first year of blogging, I stayed up until 3 am sometimes and my first white hairs appeared. As a hobby, blogging has pushed me to pick up photography, which I'm very much in need of honing. Blogging has also brought me many new and wonderful friends, some of whom I've met in person and am very comfortable with. I am naturally a people person, and I've kept in touch with a pen pal from Japan since I was 15 (although we've lost touch in the last three years or so). Many have written to me about their families, and how their expanded list of recipes and cooking have made meals more delightful, and their kids more interested in cooking. One person wrote me about coming to church (since I don't hide the fact that I'm Christian) and I hope she'll write me again and save me from sorting through my mail to get her. Letters like these lift my heart and make me feel good that in some way, my time and effort have not gone to waste. Through blogging also, a couple of readers have shared with me their struggle as parents and I appreciate it when people trust me enough to share their problems. I don't regret writing about my struggles as a parent. In fact, I want my kids to one day read those posts when they are parents themselves. I also hope that in my small way I can help people in similar situations see their problems from a more positive angle. And in turn, readers have been very supportive and encouraging when I am down. Lastly, I am the recipient too of many recipes tried and tested by other food bloggers who have generously given their cooking experiences and recipes for free. I have a list of food bloggers and reviewers whose recipes and opinions I trust and refer to. I belong to a community of food lovers, all of whom so far have been wonderful to know, even if it's online. I look forward to and appreciate readers' comments (but there are too few and I do get discouraged).

I also blog to record my cooking adventures so that my kids, friends and myself can have easy access to recipes that work. Not all cookbooks give accurate measurements, and experience and trusted recipes make the difference when it comes to cooking.

Many have asked me why I'm not doing this for money, and I've had a couple of enquiries on advertising costs on my blog now that readership is up. I do intend to put up more widgets for ads, so that when somebody asks why I blog, I can say "It's for money" and feel proud of myself that I'm not an idiot giving away recipes for free.

So now that I've given my reasons, I have a question for N: Why do you read blogs? Or even go on the internet which is mainly jammed with information put up not only by companies and authorities but also bloggers.

This is 2009, friend, and blogging is here to stay.