Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Thank You God

As the readership of this blog grows, it gets harder for me to share my personal life. It is not 'cool' . But I think it is a blog first rather than some kind of professional publication. I don't want it to become some snob blog.

I realize that I am a worrier. I worry and worry and assume the worst so that when the worst is not as worse as I had imagined, I feel better.

Three weeks ago the doc said that my mom (who is now living with me, after a hypoglycemic scare in early March) needed further tests; she had blood in her stools and she was loosing weight. All my other problems pale in comparison. I thought how stupid I was to not appreciate simple things like watching TV with my family (instead of blogging) and sitting out with a cup of coffee when the weather's cool. I felt how brief and precious life was, and how I take it for granted. I think unless you are in a position where life can be touch and go, you will not fully appreciate it. I even felt depressed, and I thought maybe I should just give up blogging too because suddenly it wasn't fun anymore, in light of the seriousness of the situation. But I prayed and hoped that God will let me have my mom for many many more years. Wey realized how anxious I was and for once passed his BM test because he knew that would make me happy. Oh, the human penchant for complacency and the need to be shaken now and then.

I also realize that I've been living for the future. My future is 'when my kids graduate, when Wey gets into uni, when my dream house is completed, when Hub is retired, when we can pack up and go around the world'. When, when, when.

If you are reading this, and you are facing some problem that is not life-threatening, let me tell you to be happy, look at things differently, positively, gratefully and hopefully. When I was young, I prayed the hardest when I wrote a bad exam because that was what matters the most for me then. In the last 10 years, my hardest and most earnest prayers were for family and friends. Other times I'm a 30-seconds prayer person. Make that 60 seconds just in case my church friends are reading. Like what many others have said, that on their deathbeds, nobody regrets the loss of a business deal or the dream Mediterranean cruise or the movie star career. Most deathbed regrets are about estranged relationships.

Just thought I'll share with you how I'm feeling. If there's somebody you love, let them know. And be kind to them while you can. All the little squabbles, the little irritations, or even the big ones, they don't matter. If you love, and are loved, thank God and be grateful. That means showing them, not just saying it. For me, showing love can be holding back my tongue; I'm learning to be nice.

p.s the results are back. My mom has a non-cancerous ulcer in her colon. She is recovering. I know because she is asking silly irrelevant questions and started snooping in my kitchen (she just broke a tiny porcelain plate Yi had bought for me from Dresden, Germany, teaching/forcing me to let go of material things...). Most of all, she wants to eat everything, so I know she's back to normal.

As for me, I'm my old self. Somebody jumped the line at the Foh San traffic lights yesterday. Too bad for the fella, because of all the cars, he chose mine to squeeze in front of, so I fought him inch by inch until he gave up. I just won't allow people to jump the line like everybody else can wait but not them. No manners.

21 comments:

Shan said...

Hi Terri, hope you and family are doing well. A good reminder, your post, on living in the now and appreciating the small things.

Rei said...

Hi Terri, thank goodness your mum is well and back to her usual self. Your post reminded me of my dad's health scare 2 months back. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and had no one to talk to then. I lost my interest to blog as I lost my sense of humour. Other stuffs just seemed petty. Treasure those you love and matters to you now. I wish your mom good health. Take care.

ganache-ganache said...

Hi, glad to hear that yr mum is ok now :)
I'm like u, if someone jump my line at the traffic light, I won't compromise, hahaha.....
Oh, I'm going to yr talk this Thurs with my girls, you want me to bake any cake to bring along ?? Let me know

emily.t said...

Hi Terri, glad to hear your mum is recovering. I had a scare too just recently when my dad found out there was alot of blood in his stool. Dr said it was diverticular disease. Dad was given 4 pints of blood, imagine! I was so so depressed but Thank God dad is now fully recovered. Like you said, we must treasure and appreciate the time we have now. We should all be living in the moment, like there's no tomorrow.

Johnathan Oh said...

Hi Terri, wow, that sure is a heart-stopping blogpost! Glad you are back and being yourself. All we have in life is but temporary so do not be bounded by temporary things but instead to focus on things that are permanent ;) I think the outreach programme by cooking nutritious meals for the kids in your previous post meaningful! Love to see more of posts like those.

Oh, its such a BigMac miss out! I wish I could attend your talk. I can foresee that it will be a really good one. For those that can make it, please take plenty of photos and if possible, videos? and post it in your blog so that more people can enjoy the talk.

Think Big Terri, for you are not serving someone small. ;)

J2Kfm said...

what a post. it made me stopped and really think about my purpose in blogging, and what i might have neglected in life.

how true, small quarrels with loved ones, bickering over trivial matters, and cold wars aint deserving enough to be permanent.

live life to its fullest, never let go of the most important things in life.

Terri said...

Terri, I really get what you are talking about. My sister, Kim, passed away a year ago and my view of life has never been the same. Even my prayers are different.

I collect quotes and use them often for my blog, but this one is my favorite: "If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice."

I wish you and your family good health, love and happiness.

Precious Pea said...

So relief to know that your mum is ok now. Don't worry too much, stress is not good. U are really lucky you know...blessed with a wonderful hubby and three beautiful kids. And please...don't even think of quitting from blogging. I will fly over to KK to hunt you down if you do. Hahaha... I MEAN IT!

ChopSuey said...

Hi Terri,

My mom collapsed last summer and went to the hospital for emergency surgery. Thankfully she has recovered and I am very grateful that you chose to write about something as important as relationships and family.

Of course, life continues and where would we be without food?

God bless,
Tina

Plain Jane said...

:-) Hi Terri. Thank you!

annette said...

hi Terri, just wanna tell you that the reason why I like about your blog is because you are "real", just as much as we know the gutsy side of you, you have no qualm too to show us your vulnerableness...
God bless you and your mum.


annette
(A sabahan who's so desperately craving for Ngiu Chap NOW, may take the next flight out from S'pore just for that.....LOL :))

Christine said...

Hi Terri, I am a silent blog reader never leave a message - I truly enjoyed your blog and looking forward to read it every morning. Times spend with families are so important and Thank God your mum are doing well and recovering. God is Awesome!

Lily Anette said...

The past, present or future... all matters! Thankful that there is everyday to remind us of that! :)

Anonymous said...

I celebrate with you that your mom is fine. Funny the way you describe her snooping around your kitchen for food. I can just see her with her ever smiling face.

Hey, I am 100% with you on drivers jumpin queue. No manners, indeed.

R

terri@adailyobsession said...

shan: thanx dear,we tend to forget don't we:D

rei: i know, tt was how i felt too. is tt why u didn't post for a while...good tt ur dad's ok, now go n love him more!

ganache: ya, i don't understand y ppl here allow others to cut lines, stay in the yellow box, run red lights etc but when u back out frm a parking lot, they don't wait n instead they climb onto the pavement in their hurry to go to wherever. so no manners.

hey, looking 4ward to eating ur cake (treat!) n pls, pls i'm just there bc i talk food, not bc i'm any good at it!

emilyt: hear u :) we will put what we say into practice from now on ok?

johnathan: u rock ,john, u r so encouraging!

j2kfm: funny u mentioned cold wars. my hub doesn't get easily angry unlike me, but boy,when he is angry, he's good at cold wars. but i've come to the age where i don't hav much pride anymore--i snuggle up anyway bc i think, why be angry when every minute is ticking away??

terri: wow, i'm going to share tt with my family at dinner tonight;thanx. i feel ur appreciatn of ur family, esp ur hub, when i read ur blog.i wish u n urs all the health n happiness too. u hav a beautiful family.

pp: ah so tt's how i can make u come here? so easily?!i'm feeling a little sad tt u r migrating soon, even tho we've just got to know each other. many ppl will miss u!

chopsuey: tt must've been totally scary n terribly worrying, thank God she's fine!surely these r wake up calls.

plainjane: :) now go forth n practice it

annette: thanx, do write again! can't u get good ngew chap in sing??why don't u ask rei on my blog roll?

christine: thanx:D now tt u hav made urself known, make regular comments. i lov getting comment s n getting to know all of u:) n yes, God is good!i am so blessed:D

lilyann: amen!

r: yes, i feel so pampered by God :D hey, i know, it was 15/4, pl told me, hehe! y u so much younger than me :(

moshi mooch said...

Hello,

I just to drop a line to tell you I'm glad your mum is ok.

Take Care and Keep blogging. Your food looks great! =)

Precious Pea said...

I really do wish I have time to visit you but maybe next year when I come back for holiday. Yeah...the time is drawing nearer to my departure date..honestly...am very sad too. But don't worry, i won't stop blogging, you you will still get updates from me.

Bento Pet said...

Hey Terri, glad to read that your mum's results were good. Praise God! Haven't left a comment for a long time but haven't stopped reading your posts either.

Danny Ng said...

glad to hear 'dog' pohpoh is doing well. :)

haha, funny that she's back to her 'normal' self again. i do know what that means hehe

eugene said...

Hi there,

The 1st entry I saw when I clicked on a link to your blog was this one. I could not help but think of my dad who was diagnosed with a tumor.
I kept re-reading the paragraph about not being bothered about the petty things in life when ure at risk of losing a loved one and it is so true.

Thank you for your words about being grateful, hopeful and positive in the face of non-life threatening situations . It has greatly helped my day. :)

p.s
Glad to hear that ure mom is well as her antics very much reminds me of my grandmother(eating everything)Take care and god bless

NEE said...

i read this post before i left melbourne. i was very touched. n really miss my brother roger even before i left.

you are so right about taking things for granted esp in the midst of daily hustle and bustle. so glad your mum is ok and you must take care too after the scare. dont neglect yourself.

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